Going to the Liquor Store

01.10.2009 // Humor // jcbrady // No Comments

Pull into the parking lot and find the entrance to the store. This is usually simple because there will be a sign that says “pull” adjacent to the handle. Some liquor stores unfortunately do not have this instruction, making it difficult to enter. If you run into this problem ask someone who looks like they’ve been inside the store. They will usually be able to direct you.

Once inside, browse the isles and notice all the different colored bottles that are actually various types of alcoholic beverages. Clear colors and browns are often a good choice, choose one that suits you.

Once you have your selection you’ll want to pay for it at the cashier. There will usually be several of them, it is often best to choose the one with the shortest line. This is not always the case however because sometimes the cashier with the shortest line is also the one who’s trying to get you to invite them to a party. People tend to avoid this line and this is usually why it is the shortest.

The general reason why nobody wants to invite these cashiers to their party is because they don’t know who they are. Unfortunately, the cashiers do not understand this and therefore act like someone who would be well placed at the center of any party. If you hear a cashier’s voice throughout the duration of your liquor store visit, it’s generally a good idea to avoid their line even though it is the shortest. Unless of course you are in a hurry and are willing to endure a story or two about how well they know how to party.

Anyway, once you’ve checked out, make your way to the exit. This is usually the same as your entry point but not always. If you can’t find the exit, ask someone who looks like they’re headed that direction and you should be good to go.